Attractive according to whom, exactly?
Upon trawling the interwebs one day, I chanced upon a challenge laid out to aspiring writers. It contained an image of an OnlyFans model, with the challenge being to describe her appearance using one's best prose.
As a nice segue from my previous piece of pretentious advice, my answer is: “Why would I want to do that‽”. And I'm not even being dismissive!
The issue at hand
I mean, I get it. I can understand what problem this challenge is trying to diagnose. That being: In trying to describe a character as sexually attractive, some writers resort to describing what physical features that character has that comprise said sexual attractiveness. The end result, in the absolute best case, is that the narrator comes across as sexually attracted to said character. In the worst case, the character comes across as sexually attracted to him- or herself. The phrase “she breasted boobily down the stairs” is a running joke for this exact reason.
For the purposes of this article, let us assume that the author has, in fact, managed to develop this character's character. (A bold assumption, I acknowledge as much.) We will therefore examine the cases where the character's attractiveness is presented in addition to, not in stead of, his/her personality. In this issue, there are two specific problems we can identify:
The lesser problem
The first problem, and lesser of the two, is that each reader has different tastes. While it is indeed possible for something to have broad sexual appeal, if your story's value hinges on the reader's specific personal proclivities matching your own, you'll by necessity alienate a sizeable proportion of your readers. That might not be much of a problem if your story is intended to be read, er, with just one hand —in that domain, niche marketing reigns supreme– but even then it's not a positive, it's just something you can get away with.
The greater problem
The second and bigger problem, on the other hand, is that the character's sexual attractiveness needs to serve some narrative purpose. What changes does said attractiveness effect? What parts of the story are set in motion by it? And, the most important part of all: In-universe, who is it exactly that is sexually attracted to said character, and how does his/her behaviour change as a result of this? If your only aim is to entice the readers, some good illustrations of your character will work much better, much more immediately, and most importantly without cluttering your narrative.
Your ultimate goal
A huge part of a writer's job—scratch that. A huge part of any artist's job in general, is to impart to the audience other people's feelings; be they real (eg your own) or fictional (eg your characters'). With that in mind, if you can connect your readers to your character's emotions, and then establish that character's attraction to somebody else, they will vicariously enjoy it even if it doesn't match their own tastes. If you want an exercise, try writing a story about a huge jewel beetle falling in intense lust with a discarded beer bottle because it's browner and shinier than the females of its own species. I can guarantee you, none of your readers are into discarded beer bottles; if you describe its feelings well enough, however, they can at least connect on an emotional level.
One of my favourite examples is this small snippet from a Reddit story:
He pretended that his eyes didn’t wander down as he followed her, and steadfastly refused to acknowledge that he liked what he saw.
I love this. It doesn't really describe what she looks like, but it doesn't matter one whit—plus, who knows what parallel-universe hominids find attractive in a human woman. No, what matters is that he is attracted to her, despite his best efforts even—so there's character work, too.
Alternatively, you could establish a contrast between what a character looks like to other people, and what s/he looks like to his/her significant other. Example:
Protagonist ran towards Quasimodo's open arms, as he effortlessly picked her up with one hand. She took a good look at his irresistible eyes as he laughed with joy, then buried her face in his taut chest muscles. “You smell so manly…” she whispered.
Other people see the hunched back, the deformed face, and the crooked teeth. Not Protagonist.
So… why am I describing her, anyway?
Remember when I said at the beginning that I wasn't being dismissive when I asked why I'd want to describe her? It's because there are many possible narrative purposes that could possibly be served by describing her, and the description will change radically depending on which one we're aiming for.
Is she the protagonist, or in any event the POV character? Then we need to describe how she herself experiences her own attractiveness, and what opinions she has formed about it. Possible example: “Protagonist had never wanted for male attention, for a very long time now. She had yet, however, to encounter one that was pleasant; for this reason, she preferred the company of a good book and a cup of tea.”
Is she a love interest? Then what needs to be established is the POV character's attraction to her, not her attractiveness per se. Additionally, if you want the relationship to be wholesome, you would do well to establish the POV character's attraction both above and below the waist. Eg: “The sound of melodious laughter filled the room, and Protagonist's breath hitched as he witnessed where it came from. With great effort, he tore his eyes upwards, away from what had originally captivated him so much. However, this only brought them in contact with her own eyes, big and deep and magnetising enough to drown in; her best assets by far, to his astonishment.”
Is it a sex scene that we're writing? Then yes, describing the characters' bodies is fairly appropriate, but it also behooves us to describe how they're feeling. This is indeed the place to reach for words like “heaving” and “pneumatic” and “brobdingnagian”, but it is also the place to reach for words like “passionate” and “quivering” and “electrifying”.
Epilogue
In closing, I will leave you with the wise words of Benjamin Croshaw. If you ever struggle to describe a sexually attractive woman, try using the following blueprint:
Bosoms melons milk factories busts funbags knockers ballistics boobies jugs nipples jubblies stonking great tits!