Pretentious Advice vol. XII: Emasculation does not girliness make

How to not appeal to girls.

As of the mid-2020s, there appears to be a fad in Hollywood: taking intellectual properties that used to appeal to male audiences, and making them more appealing to female audiences. This generally is done by taking prior male heroes, making them more feeble or otherwise less deserving of the spotlight, and introducing new female protagonists in their stead.

The fact that those movies/series unfailingly humiliate themselves completely at the box office is not really note-worthy¹. What is note-worthy is the following comparison: When an actually girly movie comes along –K-Pop Demon Hunters, for instance– it completely dominates. Therefore, it can't be that girly movies fail; the only possible conclusion to be drawn is that those kinds of movies somehow fail at appealing to girls. What reason could there be for this?

Well, the article title has already betrayed my opinions on the matter: It's because nobody likes seeing men emasculated. For males, it is obvious why they'd dislike it; ultimately, however, females dislike it too. This article will aim to explore the possible reasons for this.

Appealing to males vs appealing to females

This section will necessarily paint a picture in extremely broad strokes, but even those broad strokes will be useful enough to make a salient point. So, in general:

Healthy masculinity tends to consist of three things: Providing, protecting, and having a decent social standing.

Healthy femininity tends to consist of nurturing and care-taking.

Stories that appeal to males tend to have a hero who goes on a journey towards a position that can achieve these things. They tend to feature adventure, because adventure tends to be a high-risk-high-reward strategy to that end. (And yes, it's also a romantic synonym for “trouble”, but it's nonetheless what will give you the mad XP.)

Stories that appeal to females tend to feature a man who is already in a position to achieve those things, but needs an incentive. Said man is very dangerous at the beginning, but is “tamed” so to speak into channelling his masculinity towards becoming a family man.

The pro-social male power fantasy is the strike team: an active group of allies that's efficient in battle/adventure, and can neutralise outside threat. The pro-social female power fantasy is the village: a passive group of allies who all have each other's backs, who can withstand outside and inside threat, and where messing with one means messing with all of them. In a sense: The male power fantasy is to become an unstoppable force, whereas the female power fantasy is to become an immovable object.

The most important thing to note is that both demographics' stories agree on one thing: That healthy masculinity is ultimately a desirable end goal. Therefore, any attempt at subverting it or antagonising it –for instance, by having the character attempt to achieve it only to be rebuffed at every opportunity– will alienate both male and female audiences in one fell swoop, handily explaining why it could never make any money.

Secondarily, following from the above: While it's much easier to focus on targetting either the female or the male audience, it's not a hard-and-fast law. There could absolutely be a story that appeals to both sexes. After all, a given male's reäction to getting tamed can vary wildly depending on personality. Possible reäctions can range from staunch refusal, to begrudging acceptance, to no particular objection, to deep longing and relief. Thus, if your adventurer actually wants to be tamed and his love interest supports his adventure while taming him, this ought to constitute a story that appeals to both sexes without issue.

The rest of this section will consist of examples of successful girly works I've seen, and how they compare with the criteria mentioned above.

K-Pop Demon Hunters

The obvious starting point to analysing KPDH's relationship with masculinity would be Jinu, the male love interest. But I think that the most illustrating example would not be Jinu; rather, it would be the protagonists' manager, Bobby.

Take a moment to look up his appearance: He's short, chubby, and baby-faced. He doesn't exactly ooze testosterone, is what I'm getting at. But:

• He is strikingly good at his job
• He loves the protagonists, and therefore
• he consciously commands a salary around 5× lower than he could,
• which means that, to a large extent, he provides his skills to them.
• The protagonists love him in return, and think nothing of just giving him some resort tickets they could have taken for themselves,
• which ultimately means that he and the protagonists lift each other's social standing.

We've already satisfied two of the three criteria for healthy masculinity that we mentioned earlier. This is enough to judge this movie to be making a discreet but unambiguous statement: that healthy masculinity is a good thing.

I shall master this family

I'm fairly certain that I could write a complete article, larger than the present one, detailing just how this web-comic celebrates healthy masculinity. In short: The protagonist –Firentia Lombardi– gains knowledge of the future, and uses it to become her family's matriarch.

However, power is for her merely a means to an end; the end goal is the prosperity of the Lombardi family. To that end, she also ensures other people's well-being. Good women are match-made with good men. Talented people are recognised, scouted, cultivated, and handsomely rewarded. Strong and benevolent people are protected from illness. Weak but benevolent people are nudged towards becoming stronger. Weak and egotistical people are crushed like ants, and strong egotistical people are the series's ultimate antagonists.

The second most note-worthy example is Firentia's father, who goes from “He's nice, but a bit of a milksop” to “Oh wow, look at the spine on that dude!”. The absolute most note-worthy example is her grandfather, the patriarch of Lombardi, who is daresay the most masculine character I've ever seen in fiction. He is noteworthy because, although his position is the one that Firentia is coveting, she wants to succeed him, not supplant him. He functions as the standard to which Firentia holds herself, and a large portion of the story is her drive to become more like him so she'll be worthy of his position.

The end result of all this is that Firentia ends up surrounded by strong men and women, whom she loves and depends on, and who love her and depend on her in return. It's a feminist power fantasy, but at the same time an extremely pro-social one. Plus, her eventual love interest is mainly the one who takes down the ultimate antagonists, and he's as strong and dangerous a man as you can get—albeit his love for Firentia keeps his actions from becoming villainous.

Miss Congeniality

Miss Congeniality has two men whom we might examine here. The first is a beauty pageant coach, who used to be very well-respected but has fallen from grace. There are a couple hints that he's gay, but ultimately the movie's events lead to his social standing improving. Even if we assume that he is in fact gay, gay is not emasculated.

The primary representative of masculinity in this movie, however, is of course the love interest. We get a few shots of his abs when he goes swimming², he's fairly good at his job, he grows a bit as a person, and he's crucial in keeping everyone safe during the climax. The protagonist, meanwhile, learns that her femininity takes nothing away from her professional capacity as a federal agent, and forms a “village” with the other pageant contestants.

Appendix: Women prevailing over men in physical combat

One YouTuber I'd seen said that the biggest symptom of emasculation is when women prevail over men in physical combat. I've seen good works doing this, and bad works doing it, but I've yet to encounter one where it actually makes any meaningful difference.

Admittedly, most media I consume tend to come from the Far East. Fact is and remains, however: I've yet to see one example that hits the middle ground between “Oh, it's really not a problem!” and “Oh, I can only wish that was the only problem!”.

The first example he mentioned was the newest Dungeons and Dragons movie, Honour among thieves. My reäction was immediate: “Nope! A D&D movie needs to be governed by D&D rules, and D&D rules do not give advantages or disadvantages depending on sex.” Two reasons for this: the first is simplicity of rules, and the second is breadth of possible stories. Either one, in isolation, would be compelling enough; taken together, well, there's really no reason to even debate this.

Some other mitigating circumstances are obvious, such as the woman's physical strength simply being within the realm of possibility, or –in the other extreme– being too exaggerated to take seriously. But there is another important one: Many works try to create a big contrast between how tough a woman might be in everyday life, and how girly she is in her romantic life. In those cases, exaggerating her physical strength merely makes her femininity stand out more, so it really doesn't leave a bad impression.

One more thing. To quote How NOT to Write a Novel: “A story about a man whose troubles begin when he finds a suit-case full of money, will be received completely differently compared to a story about a man whose troubles end when he finds a suit-case full of money.” Replace “money briefcase” with “female physical strength” and you have yet another possibility for a good story.

Examples of good and bad examples follow. Any works where people have superpowers have been omitted, because in these cases anything goes by definition.

“Oh, it's really not a problem!”

Onidere: The protagonist, Ikushima Angelica Saya, is strong enough to make Hercules green with envy. She is also a blushing, stammering mess when she's with her boyfriend. The comedy comes from her need to keep up her tough-girl gangster persona in public, while also having a romantic relationship.

Tomo is a Girl!: The protagonist, Aizawa Tomo, has awesome genes from both of her parents. She also grew up in a karate dōjō. She's noticeably tall and muscular, and spars with the boys in the school's karate club. However, this makes her seem very boyish, and she's having trouble getting her crush to see her as a girl.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess: The titular monster duchess, Acella Benkan Salvatore, comes from a long line of warriors, and trained as one since infancy. She's tall and wiry, so it comes across as fairly realistic that she'd be able to defeat a bunch of noble fops. Most importantly, however: She's a wife and mother. Her husband absolutely dwarfs her. We haven't seen her strength compared to that of her husband or sons, but we have no reason to suspect that she'd be stronger.

Spy × Family: One of the things this series does extremely conscientiously, is to carefully pick and choose what it does and doesn't take seriously. The complete dissonance between visible muscularity and physical strength, for instance, is one of the things it does not take seriously. Therefore, since Yor Briar has been working as an assassin since childhood, it makes sense that she'd also be extremely strong. (And also mildly socially maladjusted, which is evident in her demeanour.)

Various body-guards here and there: I've seen some works where a lady was a female body-guard, who jumps in to protect her mistress when a man decides to assault her. (One example that comes to mind is Rock is a Lady's Modesty.) This… is maybe an example? I mean, the opponents here are untrained and unprepared, and the body-guards jump in from their blind spot. I don't really think it's a problem. I mean sure, the afore-mentioned I Shall Master This Family had a woman win an honest duel against a burly man; but for one, it also has supernatural elements such as sword auras, and for two it celebrates healthy masculinity so effusively that I'm not going to complain.

“Oh, I can only wish that was the only problem!”

Bee-be-beat it!: “The protagonist does a vague motion with her weapons and everybody gets sent flying” does not constitute a battle scene, “You're the only one I'll allow to defeat me” does not constitute romance, and “Will we see the protagonist's boobs through her ruined shirt???” does not constitute dramatic stakes.

Sister Claire: This one hurts, because at first I really liked it. The beginning takes place in a nunnery, so the absence of men is not just excused but mandatory. After they exit it, however, the only male figures that appear are ⓐ absent father figures, ⓑ abusers, and ⓒ Patreon self-inserts. When a girl wins a duel against a man (because of course she did) and he gets irate and assaults her (because of course he did) and the guard that breaks up the assault is not Captain Joseph but Captain Josephine, that was when I realised I was unwelcome. I can only be reviled in effigy for so long before I get the hint; I can always go where men are appreciated, such as my beloved Mage and Demon Queen.